You go back to her and I go back to black

Can't find what I'm looking for

I still tremble
I still WAIT
I'm still insecure

...but baby, I'm not looking for the easy path, I'm looking for the right path.

It's been two years almost now and I still haven't got any  achievements. I'm still crawling through this pile of mud trying to get a short glimpse at the sky. I don't care if the sky is cloudy, on the contrary, I like it so. But just let me see the sky! 

The issue is that I don't seem to figure out what's preventing me from actually seeing the sky... is it me or the others? 

Today I whispered to myself that in order to achieve what you want you ought to get up and do something about it... Cut your way through.

I always believed I was somewhat defective and that's not entirely false. But I don't seem to overcome my fears and anxieties. I don't even know what miracle I'm waiting for day by day, since I agree that life it's all about the journey.

...I just wish that I could figure out some place I belong, find some people that I'm somewhat comfortable with...

*"wishful thinking", he said.

When you feel like re-opening the chest of memories, just remember this

Things end, but memories last forever...

Today I liked this link on a Facebook wall, but truth is dog days are far from over. For the past two weeks I've been sipping literally buckets of coffee, bitter from all the sadness and stress I've been dealing with. My daymares feed my nightmares and viceversa. I'm so afraid of not finding the inner strength to make plans come true and moreover... some days I miss him so much, I don't know if I'm gonna make it.

***

When people ask you at 18 where do you see yourself at 24, you come up with a shiny bright future plan. But it seems that the work you've put in wasn't enough and you find yourself, at 24, looking in a mirror, much older than you thought you'd be, with less achievements than you would have expected and suddenly you lose the last ray of hope you were keeping and you feel forced to give up. Isn't it awkward to feel that your life is over at 24 years of age and all because you weren't able to make the right decisions for yourself?

LOVE is BLIND

is it too late?

Paranoid

I think I might need some time by myself. I'm yearning for a vacation. I'm expecting the worse after the situations I've created...
I'm not sure of anything right now. I have no idea what I can or can't do. I don't know which way to take.

Telegramă

Plouă. Stop. De 18 zile ...plouă. Stop. Se intensifică pe zi ce trece. Stop. Încă nu s-au înregistrat descărcări electrice sau grindină, dar, în perioada următoare, se prognozează şi aşa ceva. Stop.  Din bătrâni se spune că ar trebui să mai stea ploaia cam prin februarie. Stop. Tot înţelepciunea populară spune că nu e bine ca în astfel de momente să te adăposteşti sub vreun copac...Stop.

So there we are again standing alone with nothing to hang on to. Searching constantly for some superficial support, but there's no such thing out there right now. All the seats are taken, so we'll just have to stand... try not to fall... and if we do, there will be no hand to help us stand up.

We've been here so many times before, we know too well how long this can last and we sure know how it ends. We certainly have no clue how to put up with this...

Fine, so now I have mascara split all over my face... great!  I stood in front of the gun twice in the past weeks and let me tell you I'm not bullet proof.

Oh, boy... the June issue is going to be sooooo thick

Day at home? Listen to Dylan all day!

 

                                                                                                      You’re Gonna Quit Me (byPaolo Alvarez)

 

 

“She aches just like a woman, but she brakes just like a little girl…”

—

Bob Dylan

 

Eftersom just nu har jag inget bättre ställe att vara, tror jag att jag bara kan sitta här och titta på historien om mitt liv, mycket episod med dig i sitt rösterna

bara i fall det finns fortfarande en fråga jag måste svara ... känslan av tillhörighet, när du känner att du tillhör någon och de tillhör dig, detta är vad jag letar efter ... Är du villig att ge mig det?


Flogging Molly - Between a man and a woman

Maybe we're dealing with bad timing again. It might just not be it, our thing, you know... not at this point, not in this place. Maybe 'indoors' is (still) the best alternative we get at this point in time. Maybe the countdown it's not even on yet. Maybe the goddamn clock is defected. Maybe I'm not losing as much as I think I'm losing. Maybe this is the way of it showing me I need to hang in there stronger than I did so far. I'm only gonna lose the things I don't look after. Maybe it's more serious than we think, but maybe it's not. Maybe it's wrong, but what if it's right?

Was there any mistletoe? Was it?... But then, again, too me, that one has proved to be wrong years ago. Years before the worries began.

There sure is a reason why all the leaves of Stockholm have fallen... There must be a reason in everything that (didn't) happened for the past two years, sailor!

Finns det några möjliga sätt på vilket våra vägar någonsin kommer att korsas igen, sjöman?

“I believe that basically you write for two people; yourself to try to make it absolutely perfect… Then you write for who you love whether she can read or write or not and whether she is alive or dead.”

Ernest Hemingway